New Car Smell / by 3.1

Seth recently bought himself a new Sethmobile. I think it is his fourth one. It is a SEAT Leon CUPRA 290 SC. It makes a nice vroom vroom noise, and the 290bhp means that I can rest in the knowledge that if I was in a car crash at high-speed, I'd most probably die. Or not, but you know what I mean. Don't ask me what the colour is because car makers are always coming up with stupid names for colours like black, white, and grey.

Anyway, here is a picture of the new car looking unhappy in the cold and rain when we decided to take it to the Lake District:

(To this day I am still wondering if it was a good day to take the new car to the Lake District. I don't know much about cars, apart from the fact they say you should be nice to a new car and be kind to the engine by not thrashing it about too much. Does going up and down mountain passes count as thrashing it?)

My first trip in the new car was actually on the day that Seth had driven it home from the dealership where he had arranged to pick it up ("I want the first person to drive the car to be me," he said). I felt sad that I could not be with him to go and collect it because I had to go to work, so he came to pick me up from Uxbridge after I'd finished work. It was raining and the car smelled of new car smell and fresh rain and I liked it. It was strange seeing a car that said it had only done 117 miles ever. I think we went out again a few days later when I decided that I would like to go to Costa Coffee and get a hot chocolate, but it was very late, so the only place I could think of that was open and sold hot chocolate was Costa Coffee at Heston Services. So Seth drove me there and I went and purchased my hot chocolate and took it back to the car, even though on a different day he said I wasn't allowed hot drinks in the car ("Maybe only water, for now," he said).

Buying a new car is a very strange and curious thing to me, not to mention expensive. I suppose it was nice because I got to see Seth pick all the things he wanted with his new car – it's not like when we went to Cargiant to get his old car. Not a lot happens once you order a car before Christmas time, so you hear very little for a while. Then one day in January, The New Car Man calls up and says that you car is going to be built this week or something and it all becomes exciting again. Eventually you get another call (that should make a klaxon noise) from The New Car Man saying, "Your car is here now – come and get it!" And so you have to go all the way to Ashford in Kent, because the car got shipped over in a boat because it wasn't made in England, and you have to put your first 70 miles on the clock driving back on the M25.

The only bad thing about when you buy a new powerful car is that if you look young, people think it's their business to ask the question (verbally or non-verbally), "What are you doing with that car?" (So then I feel like saying, "What are you doing with that face?")

Things that I like about the new car:

  • it smells nice (new car smell)
  • it has a touchscreen multimedia thingy-whatsit
  • it has seats that make me feel like I'm being "scooped up"
  • it is shiny
  • it has red brake calipers

Things that I don't like about the new car:

  • when the petrol light comes on, so does a massive big warning on the touchscreen thingy-whatsit (when I am in the car, Seth has a habit of letting the car get to the point it's running on fumes, which leaves me panicking that we will break down or be stranded somewhere)
  • it makes me hate potholes and London roads even more than I already do because of the sporty suspension
  • the noise the parking sensors make, because it makes Seth more likely to want to attempt to parallel park into the smallest of spaces
  • it's still just as noisy inside the car on the motorway as it was in the old car (a 7-year-old Ford Fiesta)

Despite the new car, I still refuse to learn how to drive. Because knowing there are people on the road with road rage that hate women drivers makes me fearful.

That is all.